Raindrops

04 - Paris_City_Tour_Day2 (25)

Sipping hot tea by the fire, watching raindrops
leave trails on the windowpane;
There she was, walking idly in the rain,
strolling along, not a care in the world.

Here and there they rush around, hunched over to
protect themselves from the icy onslaught;
And there she was, enjoying the feel of cool rain on warm skin,
sticking her tongue out to taste the sky.

The streets are dotted with umbrellas, both young and old
decked out in vibrant and colorful raincoats;
But she, such a silly girl, had want of neither,
lauging instead at the quizzical stares of passersby.

It is warm and dry by the fire, safe and sound
wrapped up in a blanket, so afraid to catch a chill;
She was thoroughly soaked, her clothes sticking to every curve,
leaving so little to the imagination of twisted minds.

She stares out at the throng, all hurrying to some place new,
thinking about the girl she once was;
She skipped in the rain, splashing puddles all the way home,
dreaming of love, romance and Paris.

~ s.s.k.s

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Fool I Am

Fool that I am, now I finally know
To think that I could find another you
Fate mocks me
Time reopens the wound so deep
Reality fades away
The memories rejuvenated
The black cloud descends, lusting to quench its thirst
The pain floods me, wrenching apart my soul
Broken and torn, yet you do not care to spare
That tiny breath of life that is left in me
Go away, leave me alone
For though I loved you once, I love you no more
No longer a memory I yearn to relive
But a nightmare I wish to forget
This is meant to be, I know it now
It is time to let go.

~ s.s.k.s.

Friendship (Feb 2001)

Memories of you and me

Reflecting on the waters of my mind,

These pure, white snowflakes

Spread such warmth through me.

The fun and laughter of days passed

The beauty of our youth, now in it’s prime

These will never return

But you will always be here.

In my heart, as I live

In the warmth of my pure landscape

Of memories of us.

~ s.s.k.s

Loss (Dec 1998)

I thought you were gone forever,

I had hoped that I had moved on

To a better life, a brighter tomorrow;

Instead, I have allowed myself to be sucked

Deeper into this abyss of loneliness.

It was never meant to be – our love;

No, not that I didn’t love you enough

No, not that you didn’t love me enough

Some things are just not meant to be

Too brittle to survive scorn and jealousy.

There is a reason why farewells were bid

One day we will know why.

I wish I could cry for you, for me

The lost souls and broken hearts

But tears come not, only an emptiness that engulfs.

I wish I could have seen it coming

But then, I never thought I’d lose you

Together forever was how I thought it’ll be

Alas, Fate thought otherwise.

And now, I have learnt that nothing lasts forever.

Every morning I wake up hoping to forget you

Every night I go to sleep hoping to find you again

But in this world of cheats and liars, who knows?

Now I’m left repeating my woes endlessly

To those who do not care.

How do I break free of these bonds of hopelessness?

Dare I hope to find someone as special as you, again ?

Will it be easier to remain closed up to the world

Wrapped tightly in this blanket of ennui?

Or shall I exchange this illusion of security for another?

~ s.s.k.s

Silent Plea (Jan 1998)

So many nights, passed in silence

I have yet to shed a single tear

Foolish — what a fool — to think I mustn’t

I am human, you know, if not humane

I do feel, I do ache, like the rest of you

But all I’ve been feeling lately is stoned

Silently screaming, pleading with you

But you, you do not hear me killing me

I wait for the tears to come

But they do not

I wait for the answers to my questions

But I know they will never come

My mind’s all messed up

Are you out there, watching?

Do you know how I feel?

Do I see you standing against that wall, there?

Or is it just me, a figment of my imagination?

A silent plea of help, I wish to be heard

I wish to heal, feeling of healing I do not feel

I know I cannot nor ever will, for no one knows

A burden shared, a burden halved

But who will share, I have not allowed

I miss you all too much — will you come back for me?

Or have I already walked right past you?

I shield myself from all of them

A folly, inevitably

I hurt too much to care

No one knows, I wish someone did

Why won’t the tears come? Why won’t the anger pass?

Why can’t I mend this deceivingly protective,

Thick, brittle shell that now lies broken at my feet?

Why can’t I undo the done? Why can’t I unknow the known?

Why can’t I tell and heal? But who will listen? Will you?

A silent plea, that is all it is

You think a smile is enough a sign

But what lies beneath the face so thick

The pain you cannot feel

The tears you cannot see

The heart you cannot touch

Standing on the edge, looking down

The abyss, dark and inviting, awaits me

I’m getting tired of standing up here, so high, all alone

I will fall soon, either one way or the other

Help me please, before I fall

I beg you, with all that I have

Nothing more, but that single thread of sanity

A silent plea, deny it not.

~ s.s.k.s