Loss (Dec 1998)

I thought you were gone forever,
I had hoped that I had moved on
To a better life, a brighter tomorrow;
Instead, I have allowed myself to be sucked
Deeper into this abyss of loneliness.
It was never meant to be – our love;
No, not that I didn’t love you enough
No, not that you didn’t love me enough
Some things are just not meant to be
Too brittle to survive scorn and jealousy.
There is a reason why farewells were bid
One day we will know why.
I wish I could cry for you, for me
The lost souls and broken hearts
But tears come not, only an emptiness that engulfs.
I wish I could have seen it coming
But then, I never thought I’d lose you
Together forever was how I thought it’ll be
Alas, Fate thought otherwise.
And now, I have learnt that nothing lasts forever.
Every morning I wake up hoping to forget you
Every night I go to sleep hoping to find you again
But in this world of cheats and liars, who knows?
Now I’m left repeating my woes endlessly
To those who do not care.
How do I break free of these bonds of hopelessness?
Dare I hope to find someone as special as you, again ?
Will it be easier to remain closed up to the world
Wrapped tightly in this blanket of ennui?
Or shall I exchange this illusion of security for another?

© Sharon Kaur-Schuelke

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