Forgive Me

You have hurt me, hurt me deep
You stabbed me once before
And I forgave you
But now you stab me once again
Wounding me deeper than before

Betrayal embeds itself in my heart
Twisting itself viciously
Lurching and thrusting unnaturally
I see the sardonic smile, spreading
The silent scream that no one hears

Disappointment twists in the depths of hope
Leaving behind a tiny shard of doubt
Forever embedding itself in my heart
I hear the malicious laughter
Reverberating through my mind

I am in so much pain, but yet I cannot cry
My mind’s eye, a hazy maze; I cannot think
I know my heart is not my own
That maniacal laughter is all I hear
That cold-blodded smile is all I see

My soul cries out for help
Blood curdling screams that fall on deaf ears
No one hears? No one cares?
The very thought that shatters
The brittle wall of my sanity

Who would throw themselves into this abyss?
No one sees, no one knows; only you and I
How can they help what they cannot see?
How can I tell if I cannot speak?
How can I think if you do not let me?

I want to break free from this pain
But no, I will not die; it shall not be
I must be strong for you
I must hold on for me
For life is such a precious thing

This cancerous pain grows everyday
Engulfing all of me, while I breathe
There is just one truth today
That I know I hate you, but oh, I must forgive
For how can I hate myself?

© Sharon Kaur-Schuelke

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