Silent Plea (Jan 1998)

So many nights, passed in silence

I have yet to shed a single tear

Foolish — what a fool — to think I mustn’t

I am human, you know, if not humane

I do feel, I do ache, like the rest of you

But all I’ve been feeling lately is stoned

Silently screaming, pleading with you

But you, you do not hear me killing me

I wait for the tears to come

But they do not

I wait for the answers to my questions

But I know they will never come

My mind’s all messed up

Are you out there, watching?

Do you know how I feel?

Do I see you standing against that wall, there?

Or is it just me, a figment of my imagination?

A silent plea of help, I wish to be heard

I wish to heal, feeling of healing I do not feel

I know I cannot nor ever will, for no one knows

A burden shared, a burden halved

But who will share, I have not allowed

I miss you all too much — will you come back for me?

Or have I already walked right past you?

I shield myself from all of them

A folly, inevitably

I hurt too much to care

No one knows, I wish someone did

Why won’t the tears come? Why won’t the anger pass?

Why can’t I mend this deceivingly protective,

Thick, brittle shell that now lies broken at my feet?

Why can’t I undo the done? Why can’t I unknow the known?

Why can’t I tell and heal? But who will listen? Will you?

A silent plea, that is all it is

You think a smile is enough a sign

But what lies beneath the face so thick

The pain you cannot feel

The tears you cannot see

The heart you cannot touch

Standing on the edge, looking down

The abyss, dark and inviting, awaits me

I’m getting tired of standing up here, so high, all alone

I will fall soon, either one way or the other

Help me please, before I fall

I beg you, with all that I have

Nothing more, but that single thread of sanity

A silent plea, deny it not.

~ s.s.k.s

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Published by

SharonKS

"To understand me, you'll have to swallow the world." - Salman Rushdie

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