Fool I Am

Fool that I am, now I finally know
To think that I could find another you
Fate mocks me
Time reopens the wound so deep
Reality fades away
The memories rejuvenated
The black cloud descends, lusting to quench its thirst
The pain floods me, wrenching apart my soul
Broken and torn, yet you do not care to spare
That tiny breath of life that is left in me
Go away, leave me alone
For though I loved you once, I love you no more
No longer a memory I yearn to relive
But a nightmare I wish to forget
This is meant to be, I know it now
It is time to let go.

~ s.s.k.s.

Suicidal

Silence seeps into the still
The warm night breeze delays its hum
Dancing leaves suspend themselves
The lapping waves have done their deed
It is now time.

I feel the cold touch of your hand
I know you are here with me now
As you patiently wait, consoling yourself
Urging me on, with such haste
I must now choose.

It gleams under the moonlight
Silvery and beautiful, deceivingly innocent
I see my face, the fear in my eyes
Then I see you, the hope in yours
I must do it now.

I close my eyes, shut you out
I say a prayer, would He hear?
I ask the Lord to forgive me, my sins
I pray for deliverance
I am about to do the unforgivable.

I open my eyes, hear your comforting voice
My wrists are slit, I stare with horror at the red
Blood oozes painfully unto my skirt
Tears roll down my cheeks, my body trembles
I am in disbelief.

I did not do this!
I do not remember!
The knife! The knife!
It is stained! The knife!
I do not remember!
I did not do this!

I hear you snarl
But I know I have won
For when I look down at my wrists
No blood do I see
Only the tears I have wept.

You are gone but I’m still here
I look around, listening
The leaves resume dancing
To the soft humming of the wind
The waves lap in response once again.

I know I am safe now
Although I sit here all alone
In the warm darkness
With nothing but a single rose in my lap
And a coffin before me.

~ s.s.k.s.

Hey Stranger (Jan 2011)

My Celestial Paradise,
A stranger I call my own,
Breathes the promise of life into the recesses of my mind,

My Secret Desires,
Like cool water dripped unto parched lips,
Quench the deepest trenches of the diamond in the rough,

My Sacred Soul,
In quiet restfulness amidst the stir of emotions,
Rejoices with the knowledge of that which is reawakened,

My Unrelenting Devotion,
Pronounced upon the pedestal of self-sacrifice,
Embodies the precious and infinite riches of generations past.

My Careless Obsession,
A stranger I call my own,
Etched into the deep crevices of the profound compass,

My Cautious Heart,
That resounds with the echoes of hymns of gratitude,
Harmonises the wistful sighs of that which is mine,

My Newfound Love,
A fresh and unexpected blossom in a garden of old,
Pounds rhythmically through my veins and stokes the forgotten fires,

My Forbidden Desire,
Springs forth into existence with ripe and unexplored passion,
Fulfilled by the solitude and peace that your presence brings.

~ s.s.k.s

Farewell (Jan 2007)

If we never meet again,

If today is indeed farewell,

Know that you have touched

My life in a special way.

Every once in a while, we need someone

To free us from self-imposed imprisonment.

Thank you, dear friend, for you have touched

That cord and roused me from sleep.

If today is indeed farewell,

Be safe then, dear friend.

And may the waves deliver you

Unto the shores of your desires.

~ s.s.k.s

Friendship (Feb 2001)

Memories of you and me

Reflecting on the waters of my mind,

These pure, white snowflakes

Spread such warmth through me.

The fun and laughter of days passed

The beauty of our youth, now in it’s prime

These will never return

But you will always be here.

In my heart, as I live

In the warmth of my pure landscape

Of memories of us.

~ s.s.k.s

Forever Forgotten (Mar 1998)

Our Yesterday

Gone

Forever.

Our Love

In my heart always

Never forgotten.

Tomorrow

I’ll lose you

Forever.

Tomorrow

You’ll be gone

But never forgotten.

Today I cried

Vowed to love only you

Forever.

Tomorrow I know this vow

Will be lost

But never forgotten.

I love you now

Always

Forever.

My love will stay

Always

Never forgotten.

~ s.s.k.s

I Believe I’ll Find You Again (Nov 1997)

You made my heart skip beats.

You made me smile, made me laugh,

you made me blush just by looking at me,

you made me do stupid things just to get your attention.

You brought meaning and joy into my life.

Just being with you was enough to light up my day.

You were always there when I needed you.

I’m sorry I can’t be there for you now,

when you need me so much.

You always gave me the strength and courage

I needed during those hard times.

I’m sorry I can’t be there with you now

when you need all the strength and courage in the world.

But, I believe I’ll find you again…

You were there for me till the very end –

like my guardian angel God-sent from above –

when I thought I had reached the end of the world.

I’m sorry I can’t be there for you now,

when you have reached the end of your world.

I need to believe that I’ll find you again.

You gave me hope,

you made me believe in myself and in the impossible,

you thought me how to look at things the brighter way.

I’m sorry I can’t do all these things for you.

But, I believe I’ll find you again…

I’m not sorry I ever met you,

I can never thank God enough for letting you into my life.

You thought me so many things,

you made me the strong person I am now,

i just wish it could have lasted longer.

I need to believe that I’ll find you again.

I will miss you dearly,

I will miss you endlessly,

I’ll be lonely without you

but I know the love we shared,

will see me through the hard times that aren’t too far off.

I just wish I could take care of you,

the way you took care of me.

I only wish you didn’t have to go.

It’s too soon.

But, I believe I’ll find you again…

I want to see you again,

to feel your arms around me again,

to feel the shower of your kisses

that I know I will never feel ever again.

I need to believe that I’ll find you again.

~ s.s.k.s.